Well hark at you, stumbling upon my autobiography. Bet you wouldn't
have put money on that three years ago, eh?! Please don't stress
yourself out too much though, it's actually socially acceptable
nowadays that you're interested. Firstly I'd like to emphasise that
I have WRITTEN THIS BOOK MYSELF, so be assured you're getting the
TOOTH, the WHOLE TOOTH and NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH! (Which was my
original choice of title, but babe, we're so over that) This book
documents my story, year by year, from my humble beginnings growing
up in the East End of London, becoming one of the nation's most
talked-about people overnight to finally moving up the spectrum
from guilty pleasure, and getting nearer to national treasure. It
will make you laugh, cry, and most importantly you'll discover who
I really am. If it doesn't do any of those things you're not
legally entitled to a refund - just clearing that up ;-). I hope
you enjoy reading this book as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
This book has been like therapy, and LORD was I in need. Enjoy!